2006 Choice Awards

For your consideration:


BEST MOTION PICTURE:
Brokeback Mountain
Shopgirl
The Squid and the Whale
Jarhead
Melinda & Melinda
Munich


BEST DIRECTOR:
Ang Lee – Brokeback Mountain
Steven Speilberg – Munich
Noah Baumbach- The Squid and the Whale


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE:
Jeff Daniels – The Squid and the Whale
Heath Ledger – Brokeback Mountain
Joaquin Phoenix – Walk the Line
Jason Scwartzman – Shopgirl
Phillip Seymour Hoffman – Capote
Felicity Huffman - Transamerica


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE:
Claire Danes – Shop Girl
Laura Linney – The Squid and the Whale
Rhada Mitchel – Melinda & Melinda
Felicity Huffman - Transamerica


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE:
Will Ferrel – Melinda & Melinda
Peter Sarsgaard – Jarhead
Ed Harris A History of Violence
Billy Baldwin – The Squid and the Whale


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE:
Maria Bello – A History of Violence
Rosario Dawson - Rent
Michelle Williams – Brokeback Mountain


BEST PERFORMANCE BY A KID IN A MOTION PICTURE:
Younger brother – The Squid and the Whale
Younger brother – You and Me and Everyone We Know
Rocco Ritchie – I’m Going To Tell You a Secret


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ANIMAL IN A MOTION PICTURE:
Bear that eats the documentary subject– Grizzly Man
437th penguin from the front – March of the Penguins
Winn Dixie – Because of Winn Dixie
Vince Vaughn – Wedding Crashers


BEST DOCUMENTARY:
Grizzly Man
Murderball
Rize
Wal-Mart: High Cost of Low Price
Madonna's I'm Going to Tell You a Secret


WORST MOTION PICTURE:
Dukes of Hazard
The Producers
Rent (sad, but true)
War of the Worlds
Be Cool
Monster in Law
Rumor Has It


BEST LINE FROM A MOVIE:
“I wish I could quit you” – Ennis DelMar, Brokeback Mountain
“Poop back and forth. Forever” – Younger brother, You and Me and Everyone We Know
“I’ve been reading a lot of books on tape.” – Jeremy, Shopgirl
"But I'm a philistine." - younger brother - The Squid and the Whale
“Don’t fuck with Mr. Zero.” – sorry, wrong decade


BEST "FORMULA" MOTION PICTURE:
Mrs. Henderson Presents – quirky British dame flouts convention by betting on naked boobies to bring the house down. Second only to the invasion at Normandy, her free-spirited, “this just might work” ideas are actually responsible for Allied victory in WWII.

In Her Shoes – Stupid girls are blond and pretty. Smart girls are chubby and worry too much about their careers. Can’t we all just get along? Just be beautiful and flaky and your dreams will come true. If you were less responsible and not so ugly, you’d have a better life.

King Kong – Giant monkey beats the shit out of dinosaurs. All boys in audience pop boners of joy. Hot girl falls for rebellious bad boy monkey and his barbaric ways.

The Upside of Anger – Rich anorexic mom has four beautiful daughters, none of which are slutty or on drugs. This makes mom miserable. Meanwhile, dad falls into a hole in the backyard and dies. White people are crazy.

Rent – Slackers hate working but love singing about AIDS.. Let’s get the original cast, now in their 40s, to reprise their roles as disaffected youth. If it works on Broaday, all we need is Chris Colombus to make it work at the multiplex in Omaha.


THANK YOU FOR SINGLE-HANDEDLY RUINING THE FILM:
Chris Columbus (director) - RENT
Winn Dixie – Because of Winn Dixie
Mike Binder (director and loser boyfriend of teenage daughter)- The Upside of Anger


MOST OVERHYPED FILM:
MatchPoint
Mr. And Mrs. Smith
Dukes of Hazard
War of the Worlds
Hustle and Flow
Crash


WORST TRAILER:
Breakfast on Pluto
Millions
Mrs. Henderson Presents
The Family Stone (a comedy without a single funny moment in the trailer)


WORST TITLE:
Because of Winn-Dixie
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Must Love Dogs
Chumscrubber
The Constant Gardener


BEST 'BROKEBACK' INSPIRED PORN TITLES:
Bareback Mount Him
Humpback Mountain
Buttsmack Pounding
Must Love Dogs


MOST OVEREXPOSED IN 2005:
Eva Longoria
TomKat
Jessica Simpson
Gay cowboys
Brangelina
Vaughnifer


MOST LIKELY TO SHOW UP AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS FLYING ON OXYCONTIN:
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Colin Ferrell
Dave Chappelle
Ryan Seacrest
Teri Hatcher
George Michael


MOST DEHYDRATED/EXHAUSTED CELEBRITY OF 2005:
Ashlee Simpson
Whitney Houston
Tara Reid
Lindsay Lohan
Michael Jackson


GO AWAY!:
Maria Menounos
Billy Bush
Lindsay Lohan
Eva Longoria


BEST DRESSED ON THE RED CARPET:
Scarlett Johannsen
Penguins from Walk of the Penguins
Johnny Depp
Charlize Theron


BEST CELEBRITY KATRINA AID APPEARANCE:
Kanye West


MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT ACCESS HOLLYWOOD IN 2005:
Access Express (choo choo!)
Maria Menounos’ laugh
Billy Bush fighting with Jessica Simpson’s publicist
Nancy O’Dell’s perma-pose: hands clasped in front of non-existant tummy bulge, right leg strategically placed diagnalloy in front of left to make nonestistant things appear thinner


PRETTIEST COUPLE:
Brad and Angelina
Rosario Dawson and Jason Lewis
Jude Law and Sienna Miller


SPECIAL SOYNOODLES POLL - BABY BRANGELINA IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE:
Brad
Angie
Maddox
Jon Voight